My first ever canvas painting. Did it at a painting party last night.
Its Griffy, and I wanted to show it to you.

wHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT BE GONE?
yOU ARE SUCH A PART OF ME, SO FAMILIAR. I AM HAVING A HORRIBLE TIME TRYING TO WRAP MY HEAD AND HEART AROUND THE FACT THAT YOU ARE....DEAD?! iTS BIZARRE AND UNTHINKABLE. mY FRANKIE? nO. eVEN AS i AM WRITING THIS, i AM SHAKING MY HEAD, LIKE ...NO...NOPE...UH UH.
i FEEL LIKE i AM WAITING FOR YOU TO WALK IN THE DOOR. lIKE i AM WAITING FOR YOU TO COME HOME, SO i CAN TELL YOU THIS OFF THE WALL STORY, OR SHOW YOU SOMETHING I MADE, OR WROTE, OR SAID....I WANT YOU TO SMILE AT ME IN THAT PROUD WAY, LIKE YOU DID WHEN i DID SOMETHING OR SAID SOMETHING THAT TICKLED YOU....iTS LLIKE LIVING IN LIMBO. YOU CANT BE GONE FRANKIE, YOU CANT BE GONE MY LOVE. I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THROUGH IT. I KNOW ITS REAL, BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE I CAN CALL YOU. OR YOU WILL COME DOWN THE STAIRS....I MISS YOU SO MUCH, MY BOY. I CAN'T BEAR IT.

Monday, January 11, 2016

My hands,
like magnets.

Find the walls
of his room.

I try to sleep.

Brain matter
slips from my ears
to the pillow.

It is
the slow exile
of my soul.

I am slipping
into madness.

I miss him.

             I miss you so much, my beloved son.