Monday, June 22, 2015
Your son is everything you'd hoped he would be. He is handsome, smart, passionate, stubborn, humorous and quirky. He thinks for himself, and is amazingly empathetic. I cannot help but feel he has more than your DNA...No, he definitely has a piece of your soul, your spirit working in him, and through him. He is one of a kind in a world of sames. I am increasingly proud of that "no, Oma! I'm a BIG boy!..." little boy....And, I know you are too. I love him so very much. Words could never explain. He is our thread to you, and he is not. He is joy, and he is sadness. We laugh and we cry at the wonderful moments we share with him. All these "sparring" emotions, because you are here, but you are not here. I love you so much, my son. I will never forget, and I look forward to the day we will be together again. Until then, we will look for you in the night sky, and remember....
Monday, June 15, 2015
I don’t know when I started to do this visualization. I do
know it began years and years but it has increased since Frankie died in 2013.
When I see an animal dead on the side of the road, I visualize picking it up. I
cradle it in my arms, until it starts to change back to the warm, living,
breathing, soft sweet soul it was in life. I pet, and stroke the animal’s body,
and talk to it sweetly. Their (sometimes gruesome) injuries start receding, and healing. I feel
them becoming warm again, their stiff bodies becoming warm. Their fur softens
and becomes velvety to the touch. They all react differently when they open their
eyes. They all take a different amount of time and way to do it. Some of them
jump from my lap in a short time…upward…..Some grab my fingers like baby’s as I
stroke the space between their eyes, and rub their faces on my hands. Others
will crawl on to my shoulder, and nuzzle their noses in my hair, and neck. They
will either go to the other shoulder and jump to heaven, or on to my head, and
lift off from there. Sometimes, mainly Possums (don’t know why), will climb on
my head, and look down at my face and sniff or lick my face before they go. For
some reason, when the possums go up, I say out loud, “I love you, Possum”. I
feel the love for the raccoon, squirrels, groundhogs, deer, cats, dogs, but the
possums seem to have a special spirit for me. I don’t know why, but that’s what
I feel. I know it sounds like a crazy thing to do, but I am compelled to do it.
It’s an amazing release for me, and I feel like I am acknowledging their
existence, that they mattered. And, I know they don’t really need my help to get
to heaven. But, for me, I think I do it for all the pain they suffered alone.
All the animals that suffer at the hands of men. I cannot do anything about all
of those poor innocents, but I can do this. Sending them off with love and
light. In honor of them and all the unseen, tortured and forgotten souls.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Friday, June 5, 2015
Frankie,
Your boy looks at the sky, just like you did. He has to point out the airplanes repeatedly and he calls to the moon at night. He is such a unique child. I know I am saying this as a
Grandmother, but I have seen and known my share of children. He is so special, and I think
in ways we cannot even imagine. You did well my son....I try not to think of how sad it is that he will not have
the benefit of your guidance and love as he grows up. But, I also think you ARE with him, actually and in the people all around him who loved you, and
who you loved. You and Ilana made someone
who is going to change the world in some wonderful way, large or small. He matters big time to this world. Thank
you for bringing him into this world. I love you so much,
my son.
Always and forever.
Mama.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)